At The Bottom of Everything
by hellomynameis -lilly
Summary: After the finale, Booth and Bones have hit rock bottom, and there's nowhere to go but up. To start all over again, they need each other. There are a few things blocking their way - mostly each other. Now COMPLETE.
1. At the Bottom of Everything

Title: At The Bottom Of Everything

Title: At The Bottom Of Everything

Rating: T, maybe M later on

Spoilers: Set after Season Three finale

Summary: Zach's a killer, Angela and Hodgins' relationship is falling apart, Cam's dealing with finding a replacement for Zack, Sweets is trying to further explore BB's relationship, and Booth and Brennan feel like their entire world is falling apart. So when they've finally hit rock bottom, Booth and Brennan have only each other to turn to. All the emotions they kept inside are about to come out in one big outburst of sadness, betrayal, comfort, and anger.

Seven days. It had been exactly seven days since the squint squad had discovered that Zach was Gormagon's apprentice. Although they weren't really the squint squad anymore. In just seven days, everything had crumbled.

Cam was going insane trying to handle the sudden flood of applications from hopeful grad students now that Zach was gone. In all honesty, everyone knew that she was stalling because it didn't feel right to be picking Zach's replacement. They had all loved him, and none of them could wrap their heads around the idea that he was gone and wasn't coming back.

Angela and Hodgins had tried to comfort each other in the days that followed Zach's confession. They'd fought, because they were both having a hard time and neither knew how to deal with it. They were still trying to make it work, but their fights started getting louder and more frequent with each passing day.

Brennan was now standing on the platform trying to identify some remains from limbo. Cam was locked in her office and she could hear Angela and Hodgins arguing over something in Angela's office. She couldn't focus on the task at hand, and focusing was Temperance Brennan's strong point. The bones were laid out before her, but she just couldn't do anything. It didn't feel right to be here. Not without Zach. It hadn't seemed like it when he was there, but she realized that he somehow connected them.

The lab had gotten quiet when Brennan snapped out of her reverie. Angela and Hodgins had obviously stopped their screaming for at least a little while. Brennan stared at the skeleton in front of her, but she still couldn't make sense of them. It was just then that the doors to the Jeffersonian Lab opened to reveal none other than Seeley Booth.

"Hey Bones, I swung by to see if you'd had any dinner. Obviously you haven't, so I, being the chivalrous knight that I am, have come to sweep you off your feet and join me on my quest for some pie at the diner." He swiped his key card and jogged up the steps to the platform to talk to her face to face.

She finally looked up to him from the skeleton before her.

"Yeah. Sure. Let's do that." She said oddly quietly, looking down. Booth spun her around and turned her to look up at him.

"Bones. Are you okay?" She shook her head, glancing at the remains on the table. He gathered her in his arms and she rested her head against his shoulder and he put his head on hers.

"Neither am I." He whispered into her hair. They stayed like that for a couple more minutes. Then Booth released her.

"Alright, let's go get something to eat, okay?" She nodded her head and together they walked out of the Jeffersonian.

--

At the Diner, they'd sat at their usual table and ordered themselves coffee. Brennan still wasn't speaking much, and Booth was worried. He decided to break the silence.

"It's been a week, Bones. I know that's what's bothering you." She raised her eyes up from the coffee that she'd been absentmindedly stirring and Booth saw how unbelievably sad they looked.

"He was so incredibly brilliant. I was so sure that he'd become a great forensic anthropologist. Not many people possess that much talent. I know it's not rational to grieve or someone who's still alive, but honestly I'm begginning to think that logic isn't to be trusted anymore."

"None of us saw this coming, Bones. I don't think it was really his fault. As Caroline said, a strong personality found a weak personality. Zach responds to logic. Gormagon presented this logic to Zach and it made sense to him. It's how he is." Booth said, taking her hand across the table.

"I know, but logically I don't see how he could kill someone. His logic was that the greater human majority was worth more than a single life, but what greater good was he fighting for? The lobbyist only got eaten by some nobody madman. That doesn't make sense. And neither does the fact that those single lives that are taken away for the greater good? The greater good is made up of all those single lives! Logically, he was taking AWAY from the greater good." Brennan jabbed her finger down on the table to emphasize her point.

"How could that happen? How could he kill someone? He was so brilliant, he had such a great future ahead of him. He's not crazy, and he's not evil! We all loved him, and he connected us. I can tell, I can see it, everything's falling apart because of him! Angela and Hodgins do nothing but fight. Cam locks herself in her office all day and barely says a word to me, and I can't focus on anything that I do! How could he be so goddamn inhuman?" Brennan finished her rant with tears running down her cheeks. Booth wiped them away with the pad of his thumb.

"Bones, he wasn't inhuman. You said so yourself. He risked his life to save Hodgins. Had it been you, Angela, Cam, hell, even me, I'm sure he still would've risked himself. Do you know what they call that? Love. He blew himself up knowing what injuries he'd get because he didn't want to hurt his friend. You don't save someone's life just for your own selfish greed, Bones."

"You save people's lives all the time, Booth, and you don't know them."

"Ah, but here's the thing. I may not love the actual person, but it's the idea. Being in love with the idea of life. If that didn't exist, you wouldn't have saved me by lying to the FBI last year or saved that baby Andy from a couple months ago."

"He loved us, and as much as you'd like to think that he detached himself from people when he killed that lobbyist, you know as well as I do that he loved us. His logic was his downfall. Killers don't love."

Brennan was crying harder now, and they were starting to earn stares from the rest of the customers in the diner. Booth put a 20 down on the table and helped Brennan up to leave.

Once they were in the car, Booth held her hand and she gripped it tightly. Her tears were still holding true, although she wasn't making any noise. She was just staring out the window watching the buildings go by as they drove.

Booth pulled up to his apartment complex and stopped the car. He looked over at Brennan.

"We're here." She snapped out of whatever place she had gone to and realized where they were.

"Am I staying here?" She asked.

"Yes, and it's final." He said, firmly nodding his head.

"I wasn't going to argue." And with that, they stepped out of the car and walked up to his apartment.

--

As they were getting ready to go to bed, Brennan said something totally out of the blue.

"You were right about Zach." Booth looked up from where he was currently brushing his teeth.

"Wha?" He said through a mouthful of toothpaste. She was standing at the doorway of his bathroom in a t-shirt of his that was way too big on her.

"I guess I wanted to think of him as the enemy, because he was the killer. I felt guilty for missing him. You showed me that it's normal, and that it's not anyone's fault except Gormagon's." She looked up at him as he spit out into his sink.

"I don't know what to say to that." He smiled a little and she gave a light laugh. He put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed slightly, then went back to brushing his teeth.

After he was done in the bathroom, after taking a short shower just to calm himself after the chaotic night he'd had, he dried himself and walked into his bedroom. He was met with a sight he didn't want to see.

She lay on his bed, clutching his shirt, crying. His heart broke at the sight of it. He didn't know why she was crying, but it didn't really matter. What was there to NOT cry about lately? He sat down on the bed and tried to put his hand on her leg in a comforting manner, but she jerked away.

"Don't you even THINK about touching me." There was an edge to her voice that kind of scared Booth.

"Jeez, Bones, sorry I was trying to comfort you." At this, Brennan sat straight up, still clutching his shirt, with a look of anger on her face.

"Comfort me? COMFORT ME? You were the one that nearly DIED three weeks ago and let me believe that you had! You left me ALONE. How the hell are you supposed to fucking COMFORT me??" Tears stung her eyes but she held them back. Booth looked confused.

"Bones, I already told you that Sweets was the one who was supposed to tell you I was actually alive. It was protocol, it was a matter of national security. The Bureau should've handled it better and I'm sorry." Booth finished, rallying with just the same degree of anger as her. Brennan just scoffed. Booth got angrier.

"Besides, weren't you the one who said you could deal with my death? Do your compartmentalizing thing and move on without me?? Wouldn't you be able to do just FINE without me??"

"Yes!" Brennan shook her head as if trying to process his words.

"So why are you acting like this?"

"Because I lied! Yes, I can compartmentalize, and yes, I said that I was angry at being manipulated. That's true. I didn't want to go to your funeral because that would mean admitting to myself that you weren't coming back! I didn't want to face being alone again and abandoned by another person. I trusted you, and I was sure that you would fight, that you wouldn't die. When I heard the news I cried for basically two days. Cam gave us three days off work to process your death and I spent two of those days locked in my apartment crying my heart out. On that third day I decided that none of it was real and threw myself back into work because that was where I still had some connection to you! I never told anyone that I missed you and I put on the act that I was okay. When I saw you at that funeral I punched you because you scared the living SHIT out of me!! You're not supposed to leave! You're not supposed to die!"

During her rant, they had somehow got to standing up and she was beating her fists against his chest while she was screaming at him and sobbing into his chest at the same time. Booth let her do it and just held her while she let out her anger.

"I'd never leave you. You may have fears that I'm gonna die. In reality, yeah, it's gonna happen. Someday. Our jobs put us both in life or death situations. You can't fear that. Living in fear is almost as worse –or maybe even more so- than death itself. I promise you that I will never intentionally abandon you, but you have to know that our lives are far from safe. Remember when you were in that car with Hodgins?" He could feel her body tense at this.

"I was scared shitless. That clock kept on ticking and all I wanted to do was shoot it with my gun and then shoot myself every second it got closer to zero. I got the text message from you, and it gave me some hope. I thought that maybe, maybe there was a chance that you'd come out alive. When the deadline finally came, everyone else was about to give up, but I liked to think at the time that you guys would somehow extend your time. Your message gave me hope, and I needed to find you. When we got to the quarry, I ran faster than I ever had in my life because I saw a little explosion of dirt that I thought was you. When I found you, it felt like I could breathe again. I couldn't handle losing you, and when the idea became reality, it scared the shit outta me. I understand why you're mad. If you had died down there, I would have been in that car right there next to you. So please don't get kidnapped again."

Brennan, who had been quiet the entire time, was now crying silently. Then, out of nowhere, she laughed.

"You know, it's not very nice to respond to an emotional speech with a laugh." Booth looked genuinely confused, and Brennan laughed again. She took his hand and led him back to his bed. They lay down and they stared at the ceiling for a minute.

"I think there's a word for this." She said after a minute. He looked over at her and quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh? And what's that?" She smiled sleepily.

"Love." She said, and then started to doze off.

Booth stared at her for a minute, and then placed a lingering kiss on her forehead and wrapped his arms around her. She smiled again and fell asleep.

Booth knew that right now they were at rock bottom. Right now, he felt like they were on top of the world.


	2. Lover I Don't Have to Love

Title: At The Bottom Of Everything

Reviewers rock my socks.

Expect a Booth-shaped chocolate bar in the mail next week. :

Alright, so my lovvvely reviewers wanted another chapter, so BAM. Second chapter. If you guys want more than I might just turn this into a three shot or more. I don't know.

I really appreciated your suggestions, and I'll try to fit them into this chapter.

Thanks again, lovelies!

Chapter Two

-Lover I Don't Have To Love-

Angela Montenegro sat in her office, with her arms wrapped around her legs and rocking back and forth between her sobs. Zack was gone, Brennan tried to drown her grief in her bones, Booth was never even around, Cam locked herself in her office, and her and Hodgins were falling out of love.

It was times like this that made her wonder when exactly her life turned to shit. She missed Zack. She missed everyone in their dysfunctional little family. Zack was the oddball of the group, and the rest of them watched over him and protected him. They'd all failed. Hodgins and her would always fight, screaming and throwing things until they decided it just wasn't worth it anymore.

Angela still loved him, but it seemed like he was trying his best to run away from her. She tried to help him get through his grief over Zack, and every time she tried he got silent or brought up another subject to argue about.

They'd just had a particularly nasty fight, where she called him selfish for keeping to himself because the rest of them were grieving too, and she needed him but he was pulling away. He had said that he couldn't be around her anymore if she was going to insult him and think about herself when he was trying to deal with everything else.

So here she was. Sitting in her office, alone, trying to think of what to do next. She could go cry on Brennan's shoulder, but her friend had taken Zack's betrayal hardest, even if she didn't show it. That and Booth seemed distant with her lately. She didn't know what he'd said to her on the stairs, but she knew Booth refused to talk about anymore, and when she'd asked why he said that he really didn't want to deal with the subject of Zack any longer. And Brennan needed someone to talk to, and Booth was the only one that could help her.

For once in her life, Angela Montenegro had nobody to turn to, not even herself. And she hated it.

Booth got up from the bed where Brennan was still sleeping peacefully. He couldn't sleep at all. Brennan may have worked through her problems, but he hadn't shared his. It bothered him that he'd been away from her for two weeks, and hadn't thought to call her. He thought she'd known, but he'd missed her. But he didn't call. He was so focused on doing what was right for his country that he forgot about those he loved. Now he wasn't sure whether he'd lost his ability to love. It scared him how detached he could be. Most people would say that she was the one who was cold and detached, but she cared about every single person that came to rest on her table. It was why she worked so hard to get them justice.

Booth had killed 50 people. They haunted him in his dreams all the time, and he couldn't escape his death. Seeing Zack's logic in the sense that one human life was not important compared to the greater good made him think about himself. Zack had killed one person for another one. He had killed 50 people for his country. Why was it that he had been named a hero and Zack a murderer? They were one in the same.

And now, he hadn't thought about her the entire time he was away. He'd only thought of serving his country, and he knew the dangers of that mindset. A man could kill in cold blood for his country, or for himself. Now he wondered if he was turning into a monster, a monster that didn't care about a single life, but instead the greater life of mankind.

He walked out to his stereo system and started to play whatever CD was in there. Bright Eyes' "Lover I Don't Have To Love" started softly out of the speakers and he sat in a chair with his head in his hands as the lyrics sang out to him.

"_I want a lover I don't have to love_

_I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck_

_Where's the kid with the chemicals?_

_I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full_

_I need some meaning I can memorize_

_The kind I have always seems to slip my mind"_

Booth took a sip of Jack Daniel's that he'd taken from the kitchen and wondered if he really loved her. If he had, then he would've thought about her and not been able to function without her, right? He didn't know. He didn't know what she meant to him or what his detachment signified. He didn't know, and he wasn't sure if he cared.

And apathy was a dangerous tool.

He took another swig of the harsh liquor before sitting back down on the couch and proceeding to stare at the wall in front of him again. He closed his eyes and listened to the end of the song wash over him.

And then it changed. An acoustic guitar strummed out softly over the stereo, and Booth immediately recognized what song it was. He got up off his seat and turned up the volume.

"_Something in the way she moves_

_Attracts me like no other lover_

_Something in the way she woos me…._

_I don't want to leave her now_

_You know I believe in how."_

Booth walked down the hall to where Brennan was still sleeping on his bed. He stood in the doorway as the song continued.

"_Somewhere in her smile she knows_

_That I don't need no other lover_

_Something in her style it shows me_

I don't want to leave her now

_You know I believe in how."_

He saw her smile in her sleep and he could feel something wet crawl down his cheek. He wasn't sure if he was crying out of grief or apathy.

"_You're asking me will my love grow_

_I don't know, I don't know._

_Stick around and we'll make sure_

_I don't know, I don't know."_

He looked at her again, looking so peaceful and happy in her sleep, and he felt a longing. He needed her. Earlier when she'd said love, he knew she'd meant the love you have for your friends and not being IN love, but at that moment, he was sure she loved him too, whether she knew it or not. He'd loved her for a really long time, and he wanted more from her, but he was happy just to be around her.

"_You know I love that woman_

_and I need her all of the time_

_I'm telling you_

_I don't want no woman who make me blue."_

Booth smiled for the first time that night. He realized that as long as he loved her, that he was no monster. He'd said himself that killers don't love. His remorse for his victims showed that he still cared, that he hadn't wanted to kill them. He mistook love for apathy, and now he knew the difference. She'd unconsciously saved him from himself. And that was alright with him.

Amazing how she didn't even do anything to save him except to be around for him to love.

Hodgins sat in his office on his couch, staring up at the ceiling. He knew he was pushing Angela away, and he wasn't doing anything about it. He felt like his world has just crashed and burned right before his eyes. Zack was his best friend, and he'd killed someone. He'd failed in some way. He could've prevented this.

And Angela… she expected him to open up to her and listen to all of HER problems when he was just trying to cope with his own. She didn't know that he couldn't get over them as long as she was buzzing around his head being so goddamn annoying!

No. She was right. She always was.

She was the love of his life, and he had no right to be treating her this way. He was scared and lost, and he hated the feeling of not being in control. If he kept pushing her away, at least he'd be in control of something. But he knew it wasn't worth it. He loved her too much to lose her. And he'd never forgive himself if she ran away.

With a sigh, he got up off his ass and left his office. He walked out and looked around the now silent and empty lab, and thought she might've left. He walked around the platform and stopped when he saw a dim light and an open door from one of the rooms.

She was standing in the doorway of Zack's office. She didn't say anything, so he didn't know if she'd heard his footsteps.

He slowly walked toward her, and still was quiet. He wasn't exactly sure what to do when he heard her near-silent tears.

So he did the first thing that came to mind.

He took her hand and together they looked around at all the reminders of the past, and together they looked at a future that could've been.

"This will be hard." She said, turning to him. He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it.

"I know." He smiled for the first time that night.

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	3. I Must Belong Somewhere

I am SOOOO sorry for my lack of updates

I am SOOOO sorry for my lack of updates. I've either been vacationing or hanging out with my friends or Boyfriend. That, and I kinda wasn't inspired when I had free time, so all that combined and you get kaput. I'll try and do better!!

Second of all, thank you to all my lovvely reviewers! You guys made me want to dance. If I could give you people cookies, I would... maybe you guys should just get my love and respect?

Anyways, you guys wanted a third chapter, and I'm not really sure where I'm going with this story so I might need a little direction, but voila! Here it is.

Chapter 3

-I Must Belong Somewhere-

Angela Montenegro lay in her lover's enormous bed staring at the ceiling. After they'd made up at the lab earlier in the evening they'd gone home and made love, sharing their sorrows through touches and actions rather than vocalizing what they didn't want to hear. She had a smile on her face, a genuine one. She knew that whatever came next, she could deal with it as long as she had Hodgins by her side. She was however, worried about her best friend.

Brennan had distanced herself yet again. It was how she dealt with things. Sweets said that it was compartmentalizing, but Angela knew that that was just the fancy technical word for playing a big stupid game of hide and seek with yourself. It was childish really. Something emotionally traumatizing would happen to her and she would hide from the problem, choosing to stay in the shadows and hope it'd be gone sooner or later instead of facing it.

Suddenly, an idea struck the artist.

She was going to force Brennan out of the shadows. She needed Booth, and Booth needed her. They'd already gone through so much together, and Angela would not stand for it if they let the past three weeks break them.

She smiled again. Her plan would be set in motion tomorrow.

--

Hodgins woke up with his arm wrapped firmly around his girlfriend. She looked so happy in her sleep, that he couldn't bring himself to wake her up. All he wanted was to fall back asleep and close the world away. To hide under the sheets with her forever, forgetting about the world and forgetting about all it's goddamned people.

And then reality slapped him in the face.

Slowly, he untangled himself from her embrace and got up to go make coffee. He tiptoed out of the room but cursed to himself when he stubbed his toe on the doorframe. Angela, already being in a light state of sleep, immediately woke up.

"Hey," She said sleepily.

"Hey," He said, limping back to the bed and placing a loving kiss on her forehead.

"So I guess we're good now, right?" His heart broke at the hesitance and uncertainty in her voice.

"Yeah. We're okay." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"So I had an idea."

"Oh?"

"How about you, me, Booth, and Bren go out for some drinks tonight?"

"Babe, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They're both probably processing the whole Zack thing..."

"Actually I think it's just what they need. We fought because we couldn't communicate. We were both too stubborn to listen to each other, and out pride got in the way of our love. We told lies to ourselves for a week, and that was bad enough for me. They've been lying to themselves and refusing to back down for almost four years now. I can tell that they're falling out right now. If they're gonna get through this, then they need each other. And you always get by with a little help from your friends. All we have to do is talk and drink a little, and nudge them in the right direction. At the bottom of it all, they'll realize how much they need each other." She finished her rant with a small sigh, and Hodgins kissed her tenderly.

"Who am I to deny my lovely girlfriend's logic?" At the final word, they both cringed.

--

Across town, Brennan woke up alone in Booth's bed. She started to panic a little, coming up with a million different scenarios in her head, but her thoughts were silenced when he came in with a mug of coffee.

"Oh, hey, you're up. Sleep well?"

"Yeah, actually. You?"

"Not at first." She looked at him, confused, but he just smiled and laughed lightly to himself. It sounded hollow to his own ears.

"Want some coffee?"

"Actually I think I'm just going to jump in the shower." He nodded and left the room to read the newspaper and drink his coffee.

A short while later, Brennan was still in the shower and her phone rang. Booth looked at it tenatively before picking it up and answering.

"Uh... Brennan's phone."

"Booth? Why are you picking up Brennan's phone?"

"'Cause she's in the shower." A million innuendos that she could say popped into Angela's head, but this was not the time for those.

"Okay, well, I wanted to ask you a question."

"Shoot."

"Would you and Bren like to come with Hodgins and me out for drinks tonight?" At that moment, Brennan stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, and looked at him quizzically, wondering why he had her phone.

"Uh, I have to check with Bones, but I guess that sounds okay." Brennan mouthed out 'what?' to him, and he held up a finger to signal that he'd tell her in a minute.

"Great! Meet us at Molly's Irish Pub at 9, alright?"

"Alright, see you then." Booth hung up the phone and Brennan stared at him with an inquisitive look on her face.

"Apparently we're meeting Angela and Hodgins at O' Brien's Pub at 9 for some drinks." Booth gave a long sigh and she merely nodded.

"Okay." Booth looked at her, confused.

"What? You're not gonna put up a fight?"

"No... I think... I think we need this." And with that, she dissappeared into her bedroom, leaving Booth to ponder what she meant.

--

Several hours later, Booth and Brennan were on their way to the pub. Brennan had barely said a word to him since that morning, and Booth was starting to get worried. He glanced over at her a few times, and she would just stare out the window into space with a vacant look in her eyes. He repressed a sigh. Just when he thought they were getting somewhere, his hopes were dashed by her self-induced introversion.

They arrived at the pub to find it packed, and they jostled their way through the crowd to find Angela and Jack. When they finally found them at a booth near the bar, Angela looked well on her way to being wasted and Jack looked slightly tipsy. Angela saw them and waved.

"Hey, guys!! It's so great to have you here! I'm so happy we're finally getting out of the lab." As Angela prattled on, Brennan suddenly remembered why she tried to avoid going out with Angela to clubs and bars - Angela was a happy drunk.

"Let's get another round over here!" Hodgins called out to the bartender, who promptly made four shots, which they all downed quickly.

Four shots later, they were in a light conversation, laughing and joking for the first time in weeks. Booth was surprised at how easily Brennan opened up with her friends surrounding her; but of course, he had to give some credit to the alcohol.

Brennan had gone up to the bar to get herself some whiskey and the three left at the table chatted amiably. They were intterupted when a man drunkenly grabbed Brennan by the arm and attempted to kiss her, which she flipped him on his back for. But another man, presumably the other guy's friend, grabbed her from behind, and even as she fought back refused to let go, and by this time the other man was up and trying to coerce her yet again.

Brennan had just elbowed the man behind her in the stomach when Booth's fist came flying out of nowhere and connected with the man's jaw. Booth punched the other man in the juggular out of blind rage. He began to beat them both up mercilessly and the other people at the bar were cheering him on and giving catcalls of appreciation, until the bartender demanded they take it outside.

Brennan dragged Booth by the arm outside and Angela and Jack quickly followed, but hung back because they knew a fight was about to take place.

"SEELEY BOOTH. How could you be so idiotic??," She fumed, hands on her hips and a furious glint in her eye.

"Those men were touching you!"

"I can defend myself, you should know that by now."

"Oh yeah? You seemed to be doing a hell of a job there."

"You know that I would've been fine, you didn't have go all alpha male on me..."

"GOD I am so sick and tired of hearing about my alpha male tendencies!"

"You can't deny it if it's true Booth! Logically you're typical alpha male material.."

"Oh don't you dare start spouting scientific facts on me!"

"What, what exactly is wrong with science, Booth?"

"EVERYTHING. You don't know about the human side of things. While you're off in Cynicism/Truth/Ruin-People's-Day's Land all by yourself the rest of us are enjoying life without thinking about dissecting the things we enjoy and love and everything else in our world just because we're not afraid of letting ourselves go and just _feel_."

"You're afraid, Temperance Brennan. You have to see the logical side of things, the truth, even if it's the ugliest thing you've ever seen just because you're so afraid that if you let yourself feel than you're just gonna get hurt. NEWSFLASH sweetheart... everyone gets hurt. But pain doesn't last forever. There's love too. Let me ask you a question, how does it feel to be so goddamn distant, huh? How does it feel to be so damn cold and cynical and... logical! Are you happy, scientist?" Booth finished his rant with a feral look in his eyes, panting heavily, and Brennan found herself a little turned on... but she chalked it up to the alcohol.

"At least I know the truth. Yes, it's not pretty the majority of the time, but at least it's the truth. Logic is better than living a lie," She said in a completely emotionless voice.

"Yeah? Look where it got Zack."

Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god. Why did he say that? _Why did he say that? _He really shouldn't have said it, and immediately regret it.

It's affect was immediate. Tears stung her eyes, and she didn't bother to cover it up. She simply stared at him for what seemed like years.

And then she walked away.

Angela ran after her, and Booth fell to his knees. Jack placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, and tears slowly slid down the Agent's face.

--

After Booth calmed down, he and Jack silently walked back into the club and sat down at the bar. Jack ordered them both some whiskey, and Booth nodded in thanks. Jack stared down at his glass and then glanced up at Booth, who took a small sip of his whiskey.

"God, I hate alcohol." And with that, he downed the rest of his glass in one gulp.

--

So uh... I really think you should review... cause then I update faster... and I might be persuaded to lend you my very own personal Booth, who might even come covered in chocolate body paint... mmm.


	4. The Scientist

Hello all

Hello all!... well, it's about 2 AM where I live right now, and my friend Lucy had some ideas she wanted to share. Lucy wrote half of this chapter, so this is dedicated to her.

Reviewers! You guys are so great. CSI-4077 (Leah) you write such kind reviews every chapter, thank you so much sweetie! Seeleyswifey and vampiratelycan, you guys have also been really great, thank you.

And to my other reviewers, I really hope you like this, and you guys have been so great!!

Chapter 4

-The Scientist-

A while after Angela had started running after Brennan, she gave up, thinking she needed some time alone and she would call her in the morning. She returned to the bar right as Booth was leaving in a taxi. He was getting into the car when he noticed her standing there, and he looked at her for a moment with the saddest and most vacant look in his eyes. And then he got into the car and drove away.

Angela stood on the street corner watching as the car drove farther and farther away, and it began to lightly rain. She glanced up at the sky as she heard thunder in the distance and silently stuck up her middle finger.

--

"So that was a disaster." Jack commented, coming up to stand beside his girlfriend in the rain.

"Maybe." Jack gave her a questioning look. "It was bad before, with Zack and everything. When I called Bren this morning, Booth answered it... since they're obviously still not in a relationship, I'm guessing that can only mean one thing... that they at least talked about some things. Apparently Booth still wasn't dealing with his problems, so now that they've both faced them, there's nowhere to go but up. They thought they were at the bottom before, but now... now they really are."

Jack sighed deeply. "I really hope you're right."

"Me too," She whispered.

--

Booth got back to his apartment about 20 minutes later and collapsed on his couch. All the lights were off, and he just sat there for the longest time listening to the rain on his window.

**Plop.**

Plop

_Plop_

It was like God was torturing him. Every time he closed his eyes he would see the look on her face and how she turned and walked away. The raindrops poured away and got louder and louder, each one replaying another hurtful word that they'd shared.

Finally, Booth couldn't take it anymore. He walked back to his bedroom, crashing into a table on the way, which prompted him to curse loudly. He entered his bedroom, and was silenced by the memories that flooded his mind of the night before. She'd looked so happy and peaceful... and trusting for once! Once again he cursed himself for being so stupid. If he just hadn't said that...

He flopped on the bed and brought his laptop with him, clicking on his iTunes with the intent of burning a CD. He picked the saddest songs he knew and labeled the playlist, "How Everything Turns to Shit."

The CD finished burning after about an hour and he put it into his CD player. He threw out all the alcohol he had in his house except a bottle of whiskey that he chose to drink, even though he knew he was going to have a killer hangover in the morning.

After wallowing in self-pity for about 14 songs, the last song on the CD came on, and as he was listening to it, a thought struck him.

He didn't bother grabbing a coat or turning off the CD player; he just grabbed his keys and ran out the door, slamming it along the way.

The whiskey bottle fell to the floor and broke into hundreds of pieces with a satisfying crash.

--

Brennan was walking around aimlessly through her favorite park. Music was wafting out clearly from the pavilion in the middle of the park, from a concert that had not yet ended. She sat down at one of the benches and let the music wash over her, shutting her eyes and tuning out the sound of sirens and cars and people shouting. The song ended and she opened her eyes to the sight of the last person she wanted to see walking towards her.

Wordlessly, he sat down next to her and didn't look at her.

"No," She said. It was a simple statement that could've meant anything, but he knew exactly the sentiment she was trying to convey.

"This one's called, 'The Scientist,'" the singer's voice called out to the crowd. Brennan jerked her head around quickly between the concert pavilion and Booth, and she looked up at him questioningly. He just shrugged. Booth had immediately recognized it, and repressed a sad smile when he realized that it was the song he'd heard earlier. He got up and walked away, leaving her to listen to the song and figure out what it meant. He would watch her from a distance.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry,_

_You don't know how lovely you are._

_I had to find you, tell you I need you,_

_Tell you I set you apart._

He saw her looking up at the pavilion, lost in her thoughts.

_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,_

_Oh, let's go back to the start._

_Running in circles, coming in tales,_

_Heads are a science apart._

She was still looking at the pavilion, and he could practically see the gears turning in her head.

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_It's such a shame for us to part._

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_No one ever said it would be this hard._

_Oh, take me back to the start._

He saw her take a few deep breaths as her eyes began to sting and a tear slowly fell down her beautiful face.

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures,_

_Pulling your puzzles apart._

_Questions of science, science and progress,_

_Do not speak as loud as my heart._

The verse described Booth so well that it was scary. Brennan cried even more and leaned her head back, shutting her eyes tightly. She was sobbing, and he wanted so badly to comfort her, but he knew he had to wait.

_And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me,_

_Oh and I rush back to the start._

_Running in circles, chasing tails,_

_And coming back as we are._

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_Oh, it's such a shame for us to part._

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_No one ever said it would be so hard._

_I'm going back to the start._

The piano continued to play and Booth walked back to the bench, where he tentatively put his arms around her while she cried. After a while, she calmed down and closed her eyes again.

"You were right, you were right. You're always right."

"If that were true then I wouldn't have said all those things."

"But you were right! I am afraid... and I'm too scientifical and logical to see the beauty of the world." She looked up at him with her cerulean blue eyes. They looked sad and red from crying, but he could see a glint of hope in them, too.

"I want you to show me."

He gave her a questioning look, and she just smiled and kissed him with as much passion and love as she could.

He was surprised, but after he got over the initial shock, he responded back with as much fervor and care. When they finally broke apart, both were smiling and breathing heavily.

Slowly, she got off the bench and took his hand, and together they began walking through the park. She laid her head on his shoulder and smiled through her tears when he kissed the top of her head.

They continued walking, and decided that they would just walk back to Booth's place and Booth would get his car in the morning.

Stopping for an occasional kiss, which got more and more often and heated the closer they got to his apartment. When they got inside, they kissed passionately in the elevator and could barely get in the door.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Booth asked. She smiled feebly and kissed him again, wrapping her legs around his waist with him hoisting her up. They walked back to his bedroom, attached at the mouth, and shut the door, with Booth's CD still playing a song that they were now both familiar with.

_I'll take you back to the start._

--

So there you have it. I'm not sure I'm completely satisfied with it, so I might write an epilogue or repost it or something... your suggestions or comments, even flames, are useful. Thanks so much for sticking with me!

Love you all!

-L&L


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